What Are You Avoiding?

Last weekend, my best friend came to visit me in Los Angeles and we engaged in some serious self-care – I’m talking spas, hot tubs, museums, and kombucha on tap. And even though her whole trip was filled with non-stop fun and a lot of new experiences, the weekend was truly ignited by our first stop: tarot card readings with a psychic.  

via deathtothestockphoto.com

via deathtothestockphoto.com

I’m not going to go into detail about what we were told, because I want to keep the experience intimate and personal (see also: do not want to share all of my vulnerabilities with the entire internet, all of which is reading this post, as this is the most popular blog of all time). She did make, however, a statement that really made me reconsider things.

She sat behind worn tarot cards in a tiny closet-space of a room, and in an elusive accent said, “There are emotional blocks here. You’ve pushed them down because you don’t want to deal with them, but you have to.”

My initial response was, obviously, defensive. Of course I deal with my emotional blocks. I have a blog about mental wellness and self-care! I’m a therapist! Psychics aren’t real!!

But as I continued to reflect on what I was told, I realized that maybe I do still have some emotional blocks. Because maybe we all do. Maybe that’s a normal part of being a young woman navigating life. And maybe being defensive about how “emotionally blocked” we are or aren’t is kinda missing the point.

So I ask you to join me in really honestly asking yourself:

What am I avoiding?

What part of my life – spiritual, romantic, occupational, creative, familial – contains elements that I’ve avoided dealing with due to some kind of fear?

Take a moment to quietly reflect. When you think about your life and read the phrase “unfinished business,” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? A goal you want to achieve but are holding yourself back from? A family relationship that was tarnished in your past but never really dealt with? A gut feeling that maybe you and your partner aren’t thriving together in the way you hoped you would?

The emotional blocks we have behind our avoidances are sneaky. They aren’t obvious. If they were, we’d probably be more proactive in dealing with them. But the thing is, we have to give these avoided areas of our lives the respect they deserve. They deserve to be fully felt and fully dealt with. When we treat aspects of our lives with avoidance, we only set ourselves back. We are not full and we are not whole. We are hiding.

Consider your blocks. Consider your fears. Consider your unfinished business.

Now go and do something about it.

And P.S. – Sorry about what I said about psychics. I think maybe they’re real.